KING KONG (2005) 2 1/2 stars out of 4. Starring Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Adrien Brody, Kyle Chandler, Colin Hanks, Thomas Kretschmann and Andy Sirkis. Screenplay by Peter Jackson, Philippa Boyens and Fran Walsh. Based on a story by Merian C. Cooper and Edgar Wallace. Directed by Jackson. Rated PG-13. Running time: Approx: 187 mins.

       
If Peter Jackson remade King Kong because it is his favorite movie, I shudder to think what a remake of his least favorite movie would look like.

        Before going into detail about what is wrong with Kong, let's look at what the movie does best — its special effects.

        The CGI and other effects are spectacular, magnificent. After the first couple of minutes you forget that Kong was created in a computer. He acts so lifelike you want to reach out and pet him — as does Naomi Watts' Ann Darrow.

        The other prehistoric beasties, especially the T-Rexes, created by Jackson's Weta Workshop staff, also are first rate. They roar, run and chomp better than the dinosaurs from Jurassic Park.

        Kong looks and acts so real that, next to Watts, he gives the best performance in the film. You actually do feel sorry for the big gorilla when he takes the big drop in the Big Apple.

        It is too bad that Jackson and his co-screenwriters, Philippa Boyens and Fran Walsh, felt the need to turn a simple adventure story into a bloated three-hour extravaganza.

        Granted, that society and the role of women have definitely changed since the original 1933 Kong, but Watts' Darrow feels and acts too contemporary. And while Fay Wray gained immortality by simply screaming her way through the original, in retrospect, it is a one-note performance. Wray merely had to look terrified for the last hour of the movie.

        Watts' Darrow is more pro-active. The screenplay literally makes her the beauty who, while not taming, at least soothes the beast.

        And, understandably, she is transformed from victim to companion, then to protector. I don't think contemporary sensibilities would accept a heroine who only cringed and moaned in fear.

        Watts' scenes with Kong are touching, sentimental and even a little corny. At the same time, this change in their relationship dilutes any tension or fear we may have for her safety. It basically metamorphasizes King Kong into Mighty Joe Young.

        Darrow is in greater danger from the soldiers and airplanes that continually fire on Kong while she's in his grasp than she is from the big fella.

        The two leading men — Jack Black and Adrien Brody — are ineffectual. The screenplay transforms Black's Carl Denham from a larger-than-life figure into a shallow, self-centered, selfish conniver more interested in shooting his movie no matter what the cost. Even while his comrades are under attack from various creatures he continues filming rather than lend a helping hand.

He is totally alien from the original Denham, who was modeled after Merian C. Cooper, the explorer and film producer who also conceived the original King Kong.

        Brody's Jack Driscoll has been promoted (or demoted, depending on your point of view) from the tough-as-nails ship's first mate, to a soulful playwright who under trying circumstances is altered into a man of action.

        Yet he remains cold and distant and the scenes between him and Watts lack any spark. No chemistry exists.

        Watts, in facts, shows more sparks with Kong.

        The movie's three-plus hour running time is another handicap. This is a special effects-laden blockbuster and the story basically stops while Jackson and his team show off their magic. After a set piece is complete, the plot again picks up.

        King Kong is not the lean, mean fighting machine of 1933. He is older, more battle-scarred and melancholy. You do wish he was left alone on his Skull Island instead of being dragged back to civilization to serve as a spectacle for paying customers.

        It's just too bad that Jackson could not tell this story — and pay homage to the original — in a tighter, more concise manner. He loves King Kong so much that he nearly loves it to death.

        Bob Bloom is the film critic and DVD reviewer at the Journal and Courier in Lafayette, Ind. He can be reached by e-mail at bbloom@journalandcourier.com or at bob@bloomink.com. Bloom's reviews also can be found at the Journal and Courier Web site: www.jconline.com
Other reviews by Bloom can be found at the Rottentomatoes Web site: www.rottentomatoes.com or at the Internet Movie Database Web site: www.imdb.com/M/reviews_by?Bob+Bloom