I knew the world wasn't perfect. We already had a war going on overseas, a flu virus that could kill millions and hurricanes destroying cities, but when I heard that FOX had raised the axe on Arrested Development, I nearly lost it. How could a show that has such a loyal following, has won so many Emmy's and so much critical acclaim be cancelled? The answer is simple: no one watched.

            FOX is in no place to be canceling quality shows when its lineup is packed with more dead weight than The Biggest Loser. They're so used to running garbage like Stacked (Okay, here's the pitch. We'll cast Pamela Anderson as a buxom book store employee and we'll name the show after a euphemism for her large chest) that it didn't know what to do with something as sophisticated as Arrested Development. They didn't know how to market it to an audience that was tuning in to watch American Idol, Cops and Renovate My Family.

            I'll give them credit for giving AD three years to develop, but they failed to realize that this is the kind of show you build a lineup around and not just one to slip into any old empty timeslot. The only quality show FOX has introduced (and not cancelled) since AD first entered our lives is House. A network is built on quality programming (see CBS), not one-and-done-and-overdone nonsense. That's why they're the fourth rated network, not because their best show is underperforming.

            Be warned FOX executives: Arrested Development fans are as rabid as they are rare. The online petitions were just the beginning. And those frozen bananas you keep getting in the mail; they're not from Curious George. Bloggers are going crazy all across the internet, and it might not be long before we have a full scale revolt on our hands. People could die here.

            Unable to cope with their loss, many fans are turning to denial. 'Oh, it's not cancelled; they just cut its episode order from 22 to 13.” These are the same people who think Tupac isn't really dead. 'Oh, another network could pick it up.” Yeah, and Ron Howard, Henry Winkler and Scott Baio (all of whom had a role on AD: Howard as the mordant narrator, Henry Winkler as the incompetent Bluth family lawyer and Baio as the lawyer who replaced him) could reunite for a show called Happy Days Are Here Again.

            We just have to face it; TV's best comedy is as good as gone. Say goodbye to the narration that put Mary Alice to shame. Say goodbye to Franklin the racist puppet, bland Anne, seal-eaten hands, Mrs. Featherbottom, Mr. F, and Shakespeare-esque mistaken identities. Goodbye Arrested Development; you'll be dearly missed.